Parenting as a Single Motherhood: A Journey of Strength and Influence

Hi Sisters,

I’m excited to be writing to you this new week. Thank you for joining me weekly on my journaling journey!

Today at 3 AM, as I lay in bed, I pondered what to share in this week's blog. Initially, I had a topic prepared, but I felt God saying, “That post isn’t due for public knowledge yet.” Hence, my moment of confusion…

Then, I felt led to share something deeply personal—parenting as a single mom. This topic is close to my heart because I had to learn to navigate it through the help of the Holy Spirit.

The Weight of Influence in Parenting

At the sight of a newborn baby, our first response is usually an exclamation of how cute or adorable they are. We say things like, “Awwwn, so cute!” or “My ovaries!” But beyond that cuteness lies the immense responsibility of raising a child. Many desire motherhood but don’t always count the cost.

When my son was born on June 30, 2015, I didn’t feel the overwhelming joy most mothers describe. Instead, I felt uncertain and unprepared. The doctors cajoled me to smile, and eventually, I did. But in my heart, I was determined—I had a vision to raise a great child.

From Easy to Challenging—The Influence of the World

As a baby and toddler, motherhood felt easier. I had control over his actions—bathing him, feeding him, praying for him, and setting his routine. But when he grew older and started mingling with people, I realized there was a huge gap!

External influence is real. Parenting became a daily conversation. Some days, I talk so much that my jaw aches!

I started seeing a version of my son that differed from the ideal picture God had shown me. Some influences were negative—like his sudden change in greeting elders. As a younger child, he would greet multiple times, but as he grew, he picked up the opposite attitude from teenagers in our estate. I had to correct, unteach, and reteach—it was hard work!

There were also positive influences. I remember when we started potty training. At barely 1 year, 6 months, my son discovered himself. Instead of sitting on his potty, he ran to the toilet, stretched his tiny legs, and attempted to wee like a grown boy. It was a proud mom moment.

These experiences taught me something deep—our children are like seeds. What and who influences them determines how they grow.

Parenting Lessons for Single Moms

Through trial, error, and the Holy Spirit’s guidance, I’ve learned five major parenting strategies that work:

            1. The Word of God is Our Greatest Tool

 One day, as I worried about external influences, the Holy Spirit led me to the Parable of the Sower (Matthew 13:1-23). Suddenly, I saw myself as the farmer, my son as the seed, and external influences as the different types of soil. I was frightened! I had no control over the external factors in his life. But then, God gave me three scriptures that changed everything:

The Parable of the Weeds (Matthew 13:24-30)

 As I nurture my son, there will be influences that try to plant negative seeds. Instead of worrying, my job is to keep nurturing the good seeds and trust God for the harvest.

Ecclesiastes 4:12 – “...A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.”

 This reminded me that as the “mofada” (my own term for mother and father), I must draw strength from God and impart godly principles into my son so he learns to stand strong.

Hebrews 4:12 – “...For the Word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword...”

 I use scripture to correct and guide him. When he acts outside the Word, I remind him of what we studied.

           2.   Create an Environment for Growth

 I take my son to Christian conferences for children. Watching other children burn for God ignites his passion too. I also ensure he attends my church where I can monitor his teachings. In the past, he would follow his grandma, but I realized he wasn’t getting the same spiritual depth there. So now, I’m intentional.

        3.      Pray Without Ceasing

 I pray for my son more than I pray for myself. It’s a battle! Recently, I prayed against his habit of lying as an impulsive response to guilt. One day, he admitted, “Mom, I struggle to say the truth, but today I’m happy I did.” That moment confirmed that prayer works. 

When you realize that your child is not the enemy, your approach to parenting shifts. You begin to see that the real battle is not against your child’s behavior but against the unseen forces influencing them. That’s when you war in prayer—not casually, but with the mindset of a soldier fighting against the real enemy, the devil. Prayer becomes your greatest weapon, and you wield it with authority, persistence, and faith.

       4.       Invest in Learning

If someone had told me that reading and investing in parenting would become another expense on this journey, I wouldn’t have believed it. But here I am—reading books, articles, watching parenting videos, and even paying for training like my life depends on it.

I can already hear someone in the background murmuring, "Idia, you’re doing too much! Did our parents do half of these things? Yet, they raised good children."

Well, here’s my answer: Times have changed. You have the right to ignore this, but only intentional parents will understand. Parenting today requires knowledge, strategy, and guidance.

There are several parenting trainings available to fit different budgets, so there’s something for everyone. Because I’m raising a son, I registered him BOYS LEADERSHIP ACADEMY Tlast year, and the next cohort starts next month. Registration is currently open!

Check out the flyer below,

and I’ll also share Instagram pages of some platforms (THE INTENTIONAL PARENT by coach Wendy, Etimaumeh the Girls Coach, Teen success Academy.) I follow for parenting updates. 

Let’s be intentional about raising the next generation Leader !

             5.  Watch Godly Movies Together

 Movies serve as great conversation starters. I thank God for Mount Zion movies (Nigerian Christian movies on YouTube) and Kendrick Brothers movies (like War Room, Courageous, and Fireproof).

These films provide visual learning for both of us, and I make it a point to ensure the lessons from each movie truly sink in. They open the door for deep discussions, helping me reinforce godly values in a way that’s relatable and impactful.

A Word for Single Women Thinking About Motherhood

To my single sisters considering bypassing marriage to have a child because “time is running out” please, count the cost.

Parenting isn’t just about providing money or love; it requires spiritual strength, emotional resilience, intentionality, and sacrifice. Raising a child alone is a calling that demands everything from you meanwhile every child deserves a family.

Final Thoughts sisters, raising a godly child as a single mom is possible. It takes prayer, intentionality, and effort—but God’s grace is sufficient. Join the Talk with Idia WhatsApp Community for single mom looking for support, encouragement, and practical parenting wisdom? You don’t have to do it alone!

Talk with Idia is a community of intentional, purpose-driven single mothers who are committed to raising godly, well-rounded children.

What we offer:

 ✔️ Edifying content to inspire and strengthen you

 ✔️ Prayer sessions for ourselves, our children, and their future

 ✔️ Teachings & discussions from experienced mothers and experts

 ✔️ A support system to share parenting wins, struggles, and resources

How to Join:

 Send an email to letstalkidia@gmail.com with the following details :

 ✅ Your name and a little about yourself

 ✅ Your child(ren)’s age(s)

 ✅ Why you’d love to be part of this community

 ✅ Your WhatsApp number for further details

 ✅ Any special needs or prayer requests

Let’s build a community where single moms thrive! ❤️

I love you all! Sending you and your blessed child(ren) loads of hugs.

❤️ With love, Idia.