Chosen, Not Forsaken: A Powerful Message for Single Moms from Mary’s Story

Testing mic… One, two… How are you all doing? Today, during my Bible study, my mind was filled with reflections on my early days and months of motherhood—how that season drew me closer to God.

Now, let me say upfront: this post isn’t to paint myself as perfect, far from it! Instead, it’s about how this imperfect girl finds her strength and growth through the lens of scripture. And maybe, just maybe, my story will inspire you too.

After years of running from my blog, I finally picked up my pen and journal again. This letter is for all single mums—women who are so dear to my heart. I pray you find peace and clarity through these words.

When Motherhood Came Unexpectedly

If you haven’t read my full story yet, click here for more context.

In the early days of my motherhood journey, I was bitter with God. How could I become a mother through an act I never even got to enjoy—because guilt wouldn’t let me? Yet, in that same guilt, I would still pray for the grace to flee from sin (Omo, I didn’t know better!). Now, I understand that God’s grace is always available, but it truly works when we become intentional about doing what’s right.

And what did God do? Instead of granting my plea to "flee," He gave me a beautiful gift—my child.

I even saw my monthly flow for two months before realizing I was pregnant! At the time, I had fully surrendered to God, choosing to serve full-time. I had taken up a job as a research and field officer at my church’s NGO, pouring myself into ministry. So, imagine my anger! How could God allow this?

But then, the first lesson He showed me was this:

WHEN THERE IS AN ASSIGNMENT, GOD SENDS A CHILD—regardless of how they come.

He led me to the story of Moses—how he was born under a death decree, yet God preserved him and even used the enemy to nurture him for his purpose.

And then, He kept bringing me back to the story of Mary and Joseph. I struggled to grasp the lesson fully—until recently.

As I count down to ten years of motherhood, I finally understand better, and I want to share these insights with you.

1. The Role of Divine Accuracy – The Holy Spirit

(Luke 1:26-48, Matthew 1:18-25)

The angel played a crucial role in the lives of Mary, Joseph, and Elizabeth, just as the Holy Spirit does in our lives today.

• The angel brought peace: When he appeared to Mary, his first words were, “Do not be afraid.” (Luke 1:30). Anything that steals your peace isn’t from God.

• The angel brought clarity and confirmation: He told Mary about Elizabeth’s pregnancy as proof that God was at work. Mary didn’t fully understand, but she surrendered, saying, “I am the Lord’s servant. Let this thing you have said happen to me!” (Luke 1:38 ERV).

• The Holy Spirit continues this work in us today: He teaches, reminds, and strengthens us if we allow Him.

Looking back, I see how the Holy Spirit guided me through my journey. It didn’t make it easy, but it gave me peace in the storm.

2. The Role of the Visionary – YOU!

Mary was engaged to Joseph when the angel told her she would conceive supernaturally.

Now, let’s be honest—if this happened today, would you or I believe Mary’s story?

If you’re a single mother whose journey to motherhood wasn’t planned or ideal, remember Mary. We now call her experience the "immaculate conception," but imagine the “shalaye” (explaining) she had to do back then!

Some people probably didn’t believe her. Others may have minded their business outwardly but still gossiped behind her back.

• Own your journey: If God has spoken to you about your child and your purpose, hold onto it. You don’t need everyone’s approval.

• Clarity comes with time: Mary might not have fully understood at first, but as Jesus grew into His purpose, she saw everything unfold.

3. Who is Your Elizabeth?

The angel revealed to Mary that Elizabeth was pregnant, and Mary immediately ran to her.

"When Elizabeth heard Mary’s greeting, the unborn baby inside her jumped, and she was filled with the Holy Spirit. In a loud voice, she said to Mary…" (Luke 1:41-42 ERV).

Elizabeth confirmed Mary’s calling and encouraged her.

You need an Elizabeth—someone filled with the Holy Spirit who will call out God's purpose in your life, reaffirm His promises, and encourage you.

4. Building Mutual Relationships with Your Elizabeth

Mary stayed with Elizabeth for three months.

• Elizabeth, being older, likely needed physical help.

• Mary, being young and carrying a divine assignment, needed emotional and spiritual support.

Find people who strengthen you and pour into you—and be willing to do the same for them.

5. The Role of Joseph – A True “Odogwu”

Joseph was a just man who initially planned to divorce Mary quietly. But God intervened.

"While he thought on these things, the angel of the Lord appeared unto him in a dream, saying… fear not to take unto thee Mary thy wife: for that which is conceived in her is of the Holy Ghost." (Matthew 1:19-20)

Lessons from Joseph:

• God desires every child to be raised in a family. Even Jesus had both Mary and Joseph as parents. While single mothers can raise godly children, having a strong male figure can be beneficial.

• You need an upright man. Not just any man, but one with the Spirit of God—one whose purpose aligns with yours.

• He won’t be perfect, but he will be secure in his role. A man who truly loves you and your child will protect and provide for both of you. If you have doubts about a man’s intentions, don’t force the relationship.

6. Who’s Elizabeth Are You?

Once you’ve overcome challenges, God calls you to be an Elizabeth for someone else.

"He comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any kind of affliction, through the comfort we ourselves receive from God." (2 Corinthians 1:4)

If God has carried you through a tough season, He wants you to extend that same love and support to another single mother.

Join Our Community – Talk with Idia

I have created Talk with Idia, an initiative for intentional, purpose-driven single mothers. Our goal is to:

• Share edifying content

• Pray for ourselves and our future Josephs

• Learn from inspired teachers

• Support each other with material resources

If you’re interested, send us an email at letstalkidia@gmail.com with:

• Your name, picture and a little about yourself

• Your child(ren)

• Why you’d love to be part of this community

• Your WhatsApp number for further details

I love you, sisters! Sending you and your blessed child(ren) loads of hugs.

❤️ With love, Idia.