Single Moms in the Bible

Last week, just as we introduced our topic as “single moms in the bible," I got a feed back from a friend saying, 'are there single moms in the bible? They were all widows.'

Amazingly a widow who single handedly raises up a child after the demise of her husband is a single mum and YES we’ll be reviewing some of them.

However, for the purpose of lucidity this week, my research through the assistance of my best pal - the Holy Spirit highlights a single mom, whom baby mamas and single moms who feel they’re “used and dumped” can relate with.

 Ok enough of the suspense, we’ll be learning from the story of Hagar. Yes, Hagar!!!

This is actually one of my favorite single mom in the Bible because her story is the best fit for me.

If you are stucked doing it alone without the help of your child’s father or no child support, then the story of Hagar should be one you need to absorb for strength and grace.

 A lot of us ignore the character Hagar for Sarah’s. We resent her maybe because of her status as the legal wife of Abraham or her title of been a mother of many nations.

For years I was one of those who felt “who Hagar epp?” lol. But of course there is a Sarah whose story is very touching and inspiring, so why should I concentrate on Hagar.

But the Holy Spirit brought the character of Hagar to life in my heart.

BOOOOOOOOM!!

I see how we resent her because she laid down with Abraham, Sarah’s husband and had a child.  But I think about it, Hagar was forced to sleep with Abraham by Sarah and then when she got pregnant Sarah resented her for the child she told or MADE Hagar to have and then Abraham sent Hagar and her child Ishmael away because he was not the child that God has promised and there they went into the desert.  With a small bottle of water and a little bit of food. How depressing?

How about viewing Abraham as a single man with a fiancé who chooses to play a smart game with another lady and he had God ice his cake as he impregnates the lady. On finding out, he abandons the lady or sends her away to a desert.

These two scenarios are the best examples of women in this category who can relate with the Hagar story. They were both abandoned by the father of their child(ren).

 We single mothers can learn from Hagar that sometimes we might be living in the desert of our life having been sent away or abandoned by our children’s fathers.  

Not too worry I have good news. Lets draw our lessons from her story :

1.    The world (or one person) will reject you certainly for their personal reasons. Mind you this people might be your closest pal or even a family member or one you trust would have your back.

Like in case of Hagar she probably believed Sarah would stand behind her but reverse was it as we see she orchestrated her desert sent forth.

"So she said to Abraham, send away that woman and her son: for the son of that woman is not to have a part in the heritage with my son Isaac." Genesis 21:10 Amp

2.     In several occasions the father of these kids might be tied up in live's challenges themselves. They may as well be seeking help and advice because they’re confused on what’s best to do in such situation just like we see in the case of Abraham.

"And this was a great grief to Abraham because of his son." Genesis 21:11

Am not making excuses for them because some of them can be cruel in their decisions.  I think we should give them a little benefit of doubt judging from Abraham’s first action.

3.    Prayer is the surest key

We owe them our prayers as much as we owe ourselves.

Hey!!! I know it’s difficult to do. If you must pray it probably be some curses. For the pain their actions inflict on you.

But here is why I said we should pray for them and ourselves

"But God said, let it not be a grief to you because of the boy and Hagar his mother; give ear to whatever Sarah says to you, because it is from Isaac that your seed will take its name." Genesis 21:12

 

Phew!!! I could argue that this wasn’t God telling him to do this.  But with my knowledge about God he uses the foolish things of this world to conform the wise.

So we need to pray for an ability to understand God's will for yourself and your children other than sitting in grieve and pain.  

The company they keep will influence their decisions.

See, Sarah could be his best friend or someone dear to his heart. In the same vein the God he knows might be the devil who has camped his heart with thoughts to reject, abandon etc. you and his child(ren).

In such occasion, he obviously can’t make right decision. So would you agree with me now that they need prayers. May be something as simple as “God please help him make the best decision, swiftly”.

I must confess that I honestly can’t remember when last I prayed for my Son’s father, please, I need prayers too. Perhaps I see the importance hence I’ll be deliberate about it. So help me GOD.

Therefore, we could say Abraham made a God-influenced decision. Which means his actions towards us could be God's plan

4.    God has a plan and a purpose for you and your offspring.

We see God saying to Abraham, that he should obey his wife promising to make a nation of Ishmael.   

"And I will make a nation of the son of your servant-woman, because he is your seed." Gen21:13

Meanwhile Hagar was worried of a future God has well planned.

5.    We all get into the desert like Hagar with little bit of food and water, hoping for the best. It's one of those things.

Early the next morning Abraham got some food and a bottle of water. The bottle was made out of animal skin. He gave the food and water to Hagar, placing them on her shoulders. Then he sent her away with the boy. She went on her way and wandered in the Desert of Beersheba. Genesis 21:14

6.    Have your you time

Have a quiet time alone.  What choice are you making in those times?

But in the desert moments/days when you are stuck doing it all on your own you do have a choice and the choice is to sit there and die OR to choose to see something positive in the situation.

Should I rather say choose to incline our ears to what God is saying.

Hagar literally sat in the middle of the desert getting ready to die of thirst, when God opened her eyes and there was a well right in front of her.

“When the water in the skin was gone, she put the boy under one of the bushes. And she went some distance away, about an arrow flight, and seating herself on the earth, she gave way to bitter weeping, saying, Let me not see the death of my child."  Genesis 21:16

7.    Set God up with your children

See this is a practical method for me. Permit me to use the phrase “I set God up with my son”. By this I mean If I need anything for myself or for him, I either pray telling God that this boy needs XYZ and he always provide them or Another way I do it is, I taught him to ask God for anything he wants. The aim is so he would know that GOD alone Is the source of all I have and give him.

"And the boy's cry came to the ears of God; and the angel of God said to Hagar from heaven, Hagar, why are you weeping? have no fear, for the child's cry has come to the ears of God." Genesis 21:17

8.    Listen!!! God is speaking, are you hearing?

God has the purpose of the child. Because he sends a child to the world only when he feels there is a vacuum the child has to fill up.

In your desert ask him for clarity. Let him open your eyes so you can see the goodies he has in store for you.

Till he opens up your eyes to see you’ll remain in pain. How come there was a well in that desert where Hagar was but she didn’t see it? That’s because if you allow it, pain engulfs your entire life and keeps your eyes out of possibilities and hope.

Lift the boy up and take him by the hand, for I will make him into a great nation.”   Genesis 21:18

9.    God will always come through. He will make away for you always if not for anything but for the love he has for children.

"Then God made her eyes open, and she saw a water-spring, and she got water in the skin and gave the boy a drink." Genesis 21:19

10.  You can’t do it all alone. You would need to go to work, drop them off at the crèche or school etc.

In your absence you don’t know what happens, why not surrender them to God like Hagar so he can watch over them.

"And God was with the boy, and he became tall and strong..."  Genesis 21:20

Be sure to have the best CCTV camera and a perfect teacher molding your child as GOD's master piece.